I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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