I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
