i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
