doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
