I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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