I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
