i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sext me about skeletons
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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