hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All the doctor said was why
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
