Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize