I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
They have beer where we have blood.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
