Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
