So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
