We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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