i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
