The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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