those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
