You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
