This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
from now on my penis is your penis
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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