yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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