We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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