he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
