It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
