There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
