Your mouth is God's brothel.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
