I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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