At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
