Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
