why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
