OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
