so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
