it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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