you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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