Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am full of burrito and curiosity
two words...techno handjob
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
