Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
