You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
