I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
