I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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