The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize