I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
