This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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