She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize