oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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