Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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