Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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