Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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