please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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