Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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