just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
