Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
