spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
