I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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