Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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