just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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