so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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