Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
