and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
