hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
