i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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