He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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