I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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