we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
