i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
