Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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