Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
