seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize